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Although its always been around, bullying should never be
accepted as normal behavior. The feelings experienced by victims of
bullying are painful and lasting. Bullies, if not stopped, can
progress to more serious, antisocial behavior. Recent incidents of
school violence show that bullying can have tragic consequences for
individuals, families, schools, and entire communities.
Recognize It (for what it
is)
Bullying is aggressive behavior. A child is targeted by one or
more youths with repeated negative actions over a period of time.
These are intentional attempts to cause discomfort or injury and
can include name-calling, making faces, obscene gesturing,
malicious teasing, threats, rumors, physical hitting, kicking,
pushing, and choking. More subtle is simply excluding a child from
the group. Generally, bullying occurs when there�s an imbalance of
power favoring the bully. Victims usually feel they don�t have the
strength to defend themselves. Make no mistake, bullying is a form
of violence that shouldn�t be tolerated.
See the Scope of the Problem
- The Journal of the American Medical Association recently
reported that one-third of U.S. students experience bullying,
either as a target or a perpetrator.
- A high level of parents (47%) and teachers (77%) report
children victimized by bullies.
- Bullying and violence cause 160,000 fearful children to miss
one or more school days each month.
- Only a small percentage of children believe that telling adults
will help. Children generally feel that adult intervention is
ineffective and will only bring more harassment.
Spot the
Bullies
- They are both boys and girls. Boys bully more often and more
physically than girls. Girls are more likely to use rejection and
slander.
- Bullies usually pick on others out of frustration with their
own lives. They target other children because they need a victim
who is weaker than them.
- While they may feel uneasy about it, many children tease their
peers simply to go along with the crowd.
- Bullies sometimes suffer from depression. They�re often from
homes where harsh punishment and inconsistent discipline are used.
Sixty percent of male bullies will be arrested by age 24.
Know Their Targets
- Girls and boys alike are targeted.
- Those who are physically different in race, body size, or
clothing. Those with disabilities or those who are dealing with
sexual orientation issues. Both groups are kids who are typically
anxious, insecure, and suffering from low self-esteem. This makes
them good targets.
- There are few differences among racial and ethnic groups in the
numbers of students being bullied. White and black students are
more likely to report it than others.
- Three million U.S. teenagers have serious problems in school
because they�re taunted with anti-gay slurs. According to several
surveys, four out of five gay and lesbian students say they don�t
know one supportive adult at school. They say teachers ignore
harassment 97 percent of the time.
Take Steps to Stop It
- Start early. Parent/child talks are critical. Teach kids to
respect others before they start school and continue to talk about
this topic on an ongoing basis. Even small acts of teasing should
be stopped in their tracks. Don�t fail to correct this kind of
behavior due to a child�s young age. This is exactly when to stop
it.
- Teach your children how to be assertive. Encourage your
children to express their feelings clearly, say no when they feel
uncomfortable or pressured, stand up for themselves without
fighting, and walk away in dangerous situations. Bullies are less
likely to intimidate children who are confident and
resourceful.
- Stop bullying when you see it. Adults who remain silent when
children are bullying others give permission to the behavior and
thereby encourage it.
- Tell your children to take action when they see bullying
behavior. Tell them to speak out against the bully and inform a
teacher if the behavior doesn�t stop. Bullying continues only when
we allow it to.
- Communicate clear policies and consequences. Bullying is less
likely in schools where adults are involved and firm about stopping
bullying behaviors. Send out a clear message at your school that
bullying will have negative consequences.
- Team up. Work with your PTA or local mental health association
to make sure that schools treat bullying as violence. Help them
develop programs to prevent bullying and promote safe school
environments.
Other resources:
You can find more helpful information about bullying at the
following websites:
KidsHealth
for Parents: Bullying and Your Child
National PTA:
Safeguarding Your Child at School, Helping Children Deal with a
School Bully
For more information, contact your local mental health association
or the National Mental Health
Association.
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